To throw a loop in the arguments surrounding gender identity, nature vs. nurture, genetics vs. choice – what is the impact of having a gay parent on a child’s gender identity? And of course, being a lesbian mother to three kids – I have some insight, but no answers.
My two year old son loves shoes. He plays with dolls with his big sisters. He wants his nails painted everytime the girls do theirs. Do I think he’s going to be gay? Not necessarily. Do I care if he is? Nope. Of course, being the insecure and somewhat simple minded person that he is – my ex is very critical of a boy doing anything society has deemed to be “girly.”
Simply stated, do I think my acceptance of my son’s very innocent liking of shoes and dolls and fingernail polish with have any effect whatsoever on his gender identity or eventual sexual preferences? Not at all. I think the biggest effect that a person can have on such things is always in the negative realm. I do think that my ex’s negative reaction to any such behavior could have a very detrimental effect on both my son and my daughters. A child should never be ashamed of themselves and a parent should never make a child feel that way.
Jimmy Buffet’s “Simply Complicated”
The Road Less Travelled 