Maturity vs. Instinct – Putting Others Before Yourself

Parenting is hard.

It is the most rewarding, time consuming, complicated, emotionally draining, meaningful, spiritual journey any person could possibly embark on in a lifetime. Regardless of everything an individual may have thought in their younger years – everything changes the moment you become a parent.

You learn the definition of selfless: you forget to sleep while watching the amazement a child brings to your life. You give things up to make sure this child has everything they’ve ever wanted or needed. You get sick more often because there is no way you can not hold your child while he’s miserable, ill, contagious. And then while you’re sick – you feel guilty because you can’t do the things you usually can with your child. You forsake all others to make sure you do whatever is necessary to give your kid the happiest childhood possible, the best preparation for adulthood possible.

You feel pain on a level you never knew existed: when your child hurts. Every scrape, bruise, break pains you deeper than they yet know how to feel. When they come home from school feeling left out or made fun of or broken up with – you want nothing more than to take the pain away but you stay back – they need to have their own tools to deal with life.

You see God on a daily basis: everytime you look at this miracle – while they sleep, while they play – even when they’re crying and throwing tantrums. This is why God created you – your reason for being here in this moment – to give this child everything he needs to succeed in the world.

This is how parenting is intended to be. It is a full time job, with mandatory overtime and no monetary return. It is the one job you would die for. Unfortunately, there are parents who don’t grasp this.

There are parents who use a child as a weapon. For the good of the parent instead of the child. They use their child’s pain as a method of seeking attention for themselves. They use the title of “parent” as their entrance into circles – as a title of respect they haven’t earned. They parent when it’s convenient for them, when their child doesn’t interfere with their plans, their life – their social structure. These are the people who will miss out on the one opportunity in their lifetime to be part of something bigger than themselves. To feel unconditional love, to love something more than themselves. At the end of the road, they’ll look back and feel empty – wonder what they did wrong, and more than likely – feel sorry for themselves.

Tags: emotional abuse, father, God, maturity, mother, parent, parental alienation, parenting